Death Cab for Cutie is a band that has been around since 1997. They have had many hits in their 20 years of being together, but one song in particular has become very popular lately: “What Sarah Said.” The lyrics to this song are all about the stages of grief and it’s easy to recognize how applicable they are. Many people can relate to these stages because they’ve experienced them at some point in their lives.
In this blog post we will look into what each stage means and why you should be prepared for them when dealing with your loved ones who may be experiencing grief or loss.
Stage One: Denial
The first stage of grief is denial. This usually happens when something bad has happened to a loved one, or if you have just learned that someone close to you will no longer be with us anymore. It can also happen during events like the death of Whitney Houston this year because people want to believe it’s a lie.
Denial is often characterized by feeling numb, denial that the event actually happened or disbelief in what has occurred.
This stage can cause us to refuse information because we want it to be a dream.
Stage Two: Anger
The second stage of grief is anger and this usually happens just after the grieving person realizes they must now live without their loved one, or if they are mourning over something bad happening like abuse or rape. It may also happen when people don’t understand why an important member of society died so suddenly like Whitney Houston’s death earlier this year which many felt was shocking and unjustified since she had been performing shows for nearly two decades with no sign of weakening stamina.
This type of Stage One: Denial and Isolation
After the death of a loved one, people may go through these stages in order. The first stage is denial or isolation where they try to convince themselves that their family member’s death was just a dream or accident. They will isolate themselves from society so as not to be reminded of what has happened and avoid any kind of conversation about it.
“I’m sorry for your loss” – this phrase can make someone feel like you’re telling them how much worse off they are than everyone else who hasn’t lost anyone close to them which causes feelings of embarrassment and anger. This statement should only be used when someone asks if you know what they did before passing away (i.e.,
“What happened?”)
Mourning isn’t just for the living – mourning can be for yourself, or a loved one who passed away. The pain from losing someone to death is felt by many people in different ways and it’s important to take care of your mental health during this time so you don’t fall into other stages.
Anger comes up as well because of how others around them may view their experience; they are told that “it was God’s will” which result in anger towards religion and faith.
Depression can also be experienced when things start going back to normal too quickly after grieving, especially with society telling us what normal should look like (i.e., two months). Normalcy doesn’t have to be a timeline.
The final stage is acceptance and this can come in many forms – from being satisfied with the way events turned out, to accepting that life must go on. i.e., “What happ
The Five Stages of Grief According to Death Cab for Cutie
Denial: “You’re kidding, right?”
Anger: “I refuse to accept this! Why now?”
Bargaining: I’m willing to do anything if you’ll just give me more time. Please.”
Guilt/Depression/Acceptance -“It’s my fault. If only I had tried harder…”
But what does the next stage in grief sound like? It sounds quite familiar actually–it sounds a lot like songs by Death Cab For Cutie. The five stages of grief are discussed and illustrated through lyrics from such DCFC classics as ‘Tiger Mountain Peasant Song,’ ‘What Sarah Said,’ and Moore.
All the emotional changes that come with grief are illustrated in these songs, from denial to acceptance and overcoming guilt. The author provides an examination of each song, along with their connection to the five stages of grief
There is no denying Death Cab For Cutie’s influence on pop culture as a whole; they have been around for years, yet still produce quality music today (most notably 2010’s Codes And Keys).
